The Illusion of Independence

© Photo by Elaine M. Grohman

July ushers in the loud, colorful, often delicious holiday we call the 4^th of July – the celebration of our “Independence” from British authoritarian rule. For some, it is a day full of fireworks, meats sizzling on the grill, countless delicacies that delight our taste buds, kids playing and loads of red, white, and blue decorations.  For others, their day will be quiet, blanketed in memories of years gone by. Still for others is the deep awareness that we cherish our independence – even as we build the communities that support our Lives together through inter-dependence and meaningful relationships that are mutually beneficial. These are needed locally and globally.

But amid the celebration, an important truth is often overlooked. We celebrate that our ancestors sought independence from aggressive, controlling governance, while at the same time we foolishly brought much of that control to what we now call the United States. Religious and cultural greed tore through the fabric of an abundant continent through unimagined cultural and religious persecution. We cannot ignore that the “independence” being sought by some created slavery, violence, and death to others. “Our way,” can never be the “only way.”

Unfortunately, to this day, we are witnessing the repeating patterns of dominance through political division, religious dogma and other cultural beliefs that seek the control of others, of natural resources and of our own unique individuality. We are asked to ignore our true and meaningful inter-dependence, in which we help one another thrive.  We have never been, nor can we ever be truly “independent” from one another. We celebrate our “independence” while ignoring that in truth, independence is an impossibility. We are, and all Life is – by Its very nature - Inter-dependent.

Life works in silent collaboration to support all Life. When we believe the fallacy that we must strive for “independence,” imbalance can cause huge, unnecessary divides that can lead to military or religious thinking that create the “other” mentality. So many of the challenges we face today have been reinforced by our fierce determination to be “separate” from one another, different from one another, without respecting that we only truly learn through relationships. Honest, meaningful relationships.

This in no way means that we must be identical, for that too is impossible and clearly not healthy. What we need is the awareness of the kinds of inter-dependence that help to make us healthy people, individually and collectively. In that way we find the value in helping others be their best selves by helping to bring out the best in both our Selves and others.

Even as we seek “independence,” we still crave unity and deeply meaningful relationships that brings riches to every phase of our Lives.

The Truth is – We need one another! From the moment we become part of existence – we need each other. Without others, we could not exist. Without others, we can not nurture relationships. Without others, we do not mature fully. Without others, when one falls, we struggle to stand. Without others, our Life could not begin. We need the love, the nurturance, and the stability of others to help us become our best selves. We need conversation. We need comfort. We need community. We need collaboration. We do not need endless competition. We do not need to be told what to believe. We need to learn, then trust, how to learn from Life – the ultimate guide towards meaningful inter-dependence.

We do not grow in a vacuum. It is impossible. From the moment of conception, a microscopic embryo is dependent upon the Body of the Woman whose Life supports Its own.

Long before our presence is known, we exist within a Presence that is Life itself. It does not require our agreement. It does not require our belief. It does not require our acknowledgement – yet, if we are to grow, learn, inspire, create, contribute – we must Learn to be inter-dependent in the best possible ways, so that, like Life itself, we can contribute to the Beauty of Life.  Let’s Learn from Life – the ultimate guide to Inter-dependence.